The parent is probably frustrated and worried, and instead of saying so, states the Persecuting labels "so" and "lazy", most likely fueling more of his or her own frustration and worry.
Notice the negative prophecy that follows, "you will never get anywhere," presenting a lower standard of achievement than the parent actually wants for the child.
In addition, the infenences "just" and "lay around" add more Persecution to the mix, making a VRP reaction from the child more likely. |
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All four elements of Green Language are here: Observations, Feelings, Thoughts, and Wants.
The use of Green Language rather than VRP Language will by-pass repetitive forays into bouts of accusations and defensiveness.
VRP language exchanges result in reenactments of old dramas with painful consequences for both sides of the interaction. |